This time last year, I was preparing for my month long sabbatical in Europe. It truly was one of the greatest times of my life, but as I reflect on it this year, God is reminding me that I was afraid to leave.
That’s right. What started out so exciting, most people don’t know I was contemplating canceling the whole trip the week before I left. No good reason, just fear. Fear that I was making a mistake, fear of leaving my job for too long, fear of the cost, fear of leaving my home, fear of how the experience would change me.
The trip was life changing for so many reasons. There are moments that stand out to me because they were just magical, like eating escargot under the Eiffel Tower, riding scooters and bikes through the streets of Paris, Turkish breakfast, Turkish coffee, actually all the food in Turkey, swimming in the Mediterranean Sea, and the fairytale land and fairytale people in Zurich.And while those moments are everything! I am most thankful for these 3 experiences I am going to share with you. These 3 experiences are why I am so thankful I didn’t allow fear to stop me from having the most life changing experience.
Witnessing a Car Crash in Istanbul
I was on a train during rush hour. The streets were packed, and the train was full. I was fortunate to have a seat. I sat down, looking out the window, and saw a crash on the freeway. We must have come to a stop because I was able to see long enough that the two drivers got out of the car and embraced one another. They were seemingly more concerned with each other and their safety than the damaged vehicles and other inconveniences of the crash.
I had never seen anything like that before. So kind, so genuine. It was a moment I knew I wanted to remember and emulate. What if I could be so preoccupied with people that this was my response instead of anger, frustration, yelling, and violence in moments of discomfort and inconvenience? What if I actually loved my neighbor like I loved myself?
Coffee in Antalya
One of my very first moments in Europe was having coffee at a local coffee shop that was a five-minute walk from where I was staying. It had a beautiful view of the ocean and great coffee and bread. This particular morning, it was very slow. Just me and a few other guests. I watched how, after all the guests had been served, the two shop attendants grabbed their coffee and cigarettes and sat to enjoy themselves.
It was something so small yet so abnormal for me to see. My jaw was on the floor. Maybe it was the trauma of all my years in retail and customer service in America, but this was so bizarre for me to see, yet it felt so right. I was so happy they could take a break and chat in the middle of their workday. When another customer came in, they greeted and served them, then went back to their table and coffee.
It seemed the locals knew that particular table was reserved for the employees. It was a mindset that I witnessed that day that I knew I wanted to take with me. It’s not that serious. We can get our work done well without adding all the extra pressure on ourselves. Know when to work and know when to break. Work smarter, not harder!
My Flight from Antalya to Zurich
On this flight, I sat next to a mother and daughter. I’m completely speculating because neither one of them spoke English. But what I gathered from observing through the corner of my eye was that this woman was terrified to fly, and her daughter was trying to console her. As I was interceding for the woman and asking God how I could help, He began speaking to me about my own fear.
The fear that almost kept me from leaving in the first place. He said, "Neither one of you knows what’s going to happen next. One of you is responding as if the worst is going to happen, and one of you is hoping for the best."
Then He asked me, "How do you want to respond in the face of uncertainty?" I said "I want to worship".
I haven’t done this perfectly this year, but even now as I find myself in a season of uncertainty, I feel God’s encouragement to worship anyhow.
I don’t know everything, but I know God, and I will trust Him in uncertainty.
As believers, we often face moments of uncertainty that challenge our faith. How do you respond to uncertainty? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Feel free to share your own stories of overcoming fear and finding peace in the comments. Let’s encourage one another on this journey of faith.